Category Archives: Lessons

10 Reasons I Won’t Follow You on Twitter

I’m not even remotely Twitter Famous…but I am rather picky lol

 

1.  You’re an egg. No avi = no follow.

2. You have a bazillion followers, you only follow 1 person, that one person is Justin Bieber.

3.  Your timeline is nothing but canned jokes made by 10 other accounts 2 weeks before you stole them and tried to pass them off as original thoughts.

4. You beg celebrities for RTs.

5.  You’re a business that shamelessly self-promotes without attempting to connect with your followers.

6.  Basic grammar eludes you.

7.  You don’t interact with people. If I don’t see one @ reply in your TL, I’ll assume you just enjoy talking to yourself.

8.  You include spoilers to shows I DVR and you don’t use hashtags or warn me first. Yes, I’m serious lol.

9.  You’re a racist, homophobe, bigot, slut-shamer, Romney fan, religious zealot, or Unicorn hater.

10. You’re family. Get back on Facebook where you belong 😛

 

Feel free to follow me on Twitter.

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The 10 (But Really 13) Things I Learned On My Social Media Break

  1. I tweet A LOT! I kept picking up my phone when something happened, then setting it down again after remembering I wasn’t tweeting.
  2. Twitter is free therapy. I tell a bunch of strangers more about my life than I tell my therapist. Why am I paying her again?
  3. Without tweeting, the need for my cellphone decreased and I began questioning why I was paying so much for it. Don’t be stupid, of course I kept it.
  4. I missed all the crazy people I follow – the people who I’ve really come to depend on – the ones I adore.
  5. I need people to validate my very existence on a regular basis. I require reassurance that I’m pretty, smart, funny, etc. Twitter is great for that.
  6. I’m convinced the world needs to know my every move, thought, and meal. Yes, Twitter makes me feel way more important than I really am.
  7. Venting online keeps me from killing my husband or selling my children to the lowest bidder (I’m still accepting offers though).
  8. I really enjoy letting strangers make my decisions for me, from choosing my nail polish color to whether I should buy my son a cellphone. It makes life so much easier.
  9. Working overnight, knowing I have no one to text at 3am, I could always count on Twitter to keep me entertained. The last 2 weeks were extremely boring.
  10. My kids say a lot of funny shit. I don’t really have friends with children so I rely on my fellow parents on Twitter to laugh with me. I haven’t been able to share any good kid stories lately.
  11. No one around here cares about my tv show obsessions. I have no one to talk to about my favorite characters. Twitter is full of obsessed freaks like me.
  12. I am even more convinced of the utter uselessness of Facebook. I didn’t miss that at all.
  13. I don’t ever want to go this long without tweeting again…

Don’t First-World Me

I complain about a lot of things every day. When my tweet takes too long to post and just hangs out in cyberspace for longer than 3 seconds, I complain. When the coffee, handed to me through the driver’s side window of my Jeep, isn’t hot enough or has the incorrect ratio of cream to sugar, I complain. When there’s too much food left over after dinner and I have to find Tupperware for all of it, I complain. When one pillow isn’t enough, but two pillows are too much, I complain.

What I don’t want to hear from someone, when I am expressing my dissatisfaction with something in my life, is that I shouldn’t complain about my first-world problems. I’m constantly reminded that there are starving children who wouldn’t complain about an excess of food, and homeless people who wouldn’t complain about the number of pillows they had.

Complaining about the superficial problems I encounter doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for the many good things I have in my life. I have a roof over my head, but there was a time that I didn’t. I have plenty of food to feed my family with, but there have been times when our pantry was empty. I have gone without heat, water, electricity, transportation, and medications during the rough times in my life.

I’m well aware of the people in the world who have worse situations than I do. Does this mean that I shouldn’t be allowed to voice my opinion? Last time I checked, I have first-world problems because I happen to live here. Should I be made to sit quietly in the corner because I happen to have a better life than someone else?

When you go around complaining about the things I choose to complain about, I wonder how that helps the starving third-world children you seem so concerned with. If my issues are to be labeled first-world problems, perhaps I can call your counter-complaint a first-world solution.

Top Ten (but really 8) Signs You’re a VU Journalism Major

  1. You’re so stressed out about writing your next news story that you find yourself rocking back and forth in a corner clutching an empty bag of Cheetos in one hand and a Monster BFC in the other… but you have no idea how you got there.
  2. You cry… a lot…at random times… for no apparent reason… but you know deep down it’s because your %&@#ing editors are out to get you!!!
  3. You see the campus police drive by, lights flashing, and instead of thinking “Glad it’s not me” or singing the theme to Bad Boys in your head, you feel the need to grab your notebook and camera and follow them.
  4. You have a love/hate relationship with Monday evenings.
  5. You have sat down at a computer to proofread a story and actually said the words, “Is this even English?” This is typically followed by eventual whimpering and/or pulling your own hair out.
  6. You have waited quietly, with fingers crossed, praying to {insert random imaginary entity name here} that you don’t get assigned a story that sends you to interview HER. (Oh yeah, y’all know who I’m talking about)
  7. You have found yourself harassing random people on campus for your Person on the Street story, eventually begging everyone you see for permission to print their picture in the paper because all the girls you’ve asked said they weren’t “ready” (they showed up to school in sweats with no make-up).
  8. You can’t make it out of one single staff meeting without having said or overheard at least 3 “That’s what he/she said” jokes.

A Simple Kind of Happiness

It’s a Tuesday that feels like a Monday that I wish was really a Friday (or even a Thursday for that matter).

I have been somehow off-kilter for a while now with everything going on and it’s easy to fall into a funk and just stay there, wallowing.

Today, I’m not going to do that.

Pretty simple. Also, pretty boring for those of you reading this, I suppose.

A rant about my fucked up personal life would have been more entertaining, I’m sure.

A woe-is-me post, begging for sympathy and words of encouragement would have tugged at your heart strings more.

But that’s not what’s happening here.

I apologize for the simplicity of my post today. 

 

Be Confident

In This House

How I Feel About You

One Less Regret

One less regret because I DID start today 😀

 

 

 

Everyday

Everyday, I wake up (later than I want)

and I sit in front of my computer, desperate for some entertainment.

The people I follow on Twitter are usually able to provide me with the whole instant gratification thing – sharing tidbits of their amazing lives.

But sometimes, they’re all off actually living those amazing lives and I’m still sitting in front of my computer.

If that happens, I normally wander into the living room and watch hours and hours of tv shows filled with people living amazing lives.

Occasionally, I’ll remember (and care enough) to workout

No this isn't me. If I looked like this, I wouldn't be writing this post LOL

 

and I do walk my dog every night…

I come home and find myself back in front of my computer, reading updates from people who’ve been out living their amazing lives.

I go to bed (later than I want) and I lay there, alone, in the dark…and I imagine having an amazing life of my very own.

I fall asleep and I wake up the next day – disappointed. Empty. Lonely.

So, I should change something, right?  I should find a way out of this stupid little rut I’ve been living in, right?

I just don’t know how.

Today I woke up (earlier than I usually do) and I thought…

This is a start…