- I tweet A LOT! I kept picking up my phone when something happened, then setting it down again after remembering I wasn’t tweeting.
- Twitter is free therapy. I tell a bunch of strangers more about my life than I tell my therapist. Why am I paying her again?
- Without tweeting, the need for my cellphone decreased and I began questioning why I was paying so much for it. Don’t be stupid, of course I kept it.
- I missed all the crazy people I follow – the people who I’ve really come to depend on – the ones I adore.
- I need people to validate my very existence on a regular basis. I require reassurance that I’m pretty, smart, funny, etc. Twitter is great for that.
- I’m convinced the world needs to know my every move, thought, and meal. Yes, Twitter makes me feel way more important than I really am.
- Venting online keeps me from killing my husband or selling my children to the lowest bidder
(I’m still accepting offers though).
- I really enjoy letting strangers make my decisions for me, from choosing my nail polish color to whether I should buy my son a cellphone. It makes life so much easier.
- Working overnight, knowing I have no one to text at 3am, I could always count on Twitter to keep me entertained. The last 2 weeks were extremely boring.
- My kids say a lot of funny shit. I don’t really have friends with children so I rely on my fellow parents on Twitter to laugh with me. I haven’t been able to share any good kid stories lately.
- No one around here cares about my tv show obsessions. I have no one to talk to about my favorite characters. Twitter is full of obsessed freaks like me.
- I am even more convinced of the utter uselessness of Facebook. I didn’t miss that at all.
- I don’t ever want to go this long without tweeting again…